the day grace rained.


yesterday, i wanted to feel loved. i wanted to know it in my bones. i wanted a sign that i was loved, that i was not forgotten, that a love bigger than me, a love bigger than my faults and wrongs and sin, existed. i wanted to bask in that love. i knew i was loved, but i wanted my belovedness to be tangible, to feel it the same way i feel drops on my forehead when it rains.

i wanted to know that the grace that i’ve read about so much, the grace that makes me new, the grace that casted all my sins to the sea, the grace that belongs to me but i am so reluctant to receive, was real.

and because i don’t know how to express myself in any other way, i wrote a poem:

romance me,
speak to me.
tell me You love me
with the rise of the sun,
kiss my forehead with raindrops
and place a crown of life
and flowers upon my head.
whisper to me,
sing over me,
write in my heart
the words my soul
longs to hear.
tell me of
the love You have for me,
the love that cannot be
broken, the love greater
than heights and depths
and heaven and earth,
the love that makes me
your beloved.

i boldly asked for raindrops to kiss my forehead. and it rained, and it didn’t stop raining until evening. and those millions of drops fell from the sky into my heart, healing my brokenness, removing my unbelief, making me new, reminding me that i am seen and treasured and beloved.

maybe it was just a rainy day. maybe it was just nature. but maybe it needed to rain for me. maybe it was my bravery. maybe i was heard. maybe it was grace.


we are beautiful // a freewrite

these days, my words don’t come out as easily as they used to. they get tangled and muffled and drowned out by the busyness and hustle of life. in order to get them out, i decided to freewrite this crazy and messy piece. i hope it reminds you of how beautiful you are.

we have stars in our eyes and fire in our souls and dreams in our hearts. we have songs in our heads and stories to tell. we have broken hearts that learn to heal over and over again and shattered dreams and lost loves and failed friendships. we have tear-stained cheeks and memories of endless nights.

we are beautiful.

we are heavy and we are light and we are dark and yet so bright. we carry burdens and joy. we have songs of laughter and rivers of tears. we have words to write and tell and melodies to sing. we have grace and redemption gluing our broken pieces together and somehow making them more beautiful than when we were whole.

we are beautiful.

and we are alive. we are beautiful. we have glory tangled in our hair. we are the most beautiful mess. we are unsure and certain and vulnerable and strong. we know what we want but we fear it too. we are sinners and saints and sunrises and sunsets.

we are beautiful.

we are beautiful, for we are so much more than flesh and bones. we are bravery, we are songs. we are reflections of glory. we are beautiful, for we have dreams and wild and beating hearts. we are beautiful, for we are more light than we are dark. we are more than what we know, more than what we dream, more than who we are in this very moment. we are not who we will be. we have hope. we have grace. we have beauty.

we are beautiful.