reflection. {a poem}

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this morning
i looked in the mirror
and for the first time
i didn’t see
my mistakes,
i didn’t see
my circumstances,
i didn’t see
the shame i carried
on my shoulders,
i didn’t see the
fear that once chained me
instead i saw
the most beautiful smile,
i saw a brave heart
and a face full of
inexpressible joy,
and i saw
a soul worth pursuing,
a dream worth chasing,
a heart worth loving.

-Gaby Comprés

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It’s okay to be broken

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There are days when I wake up and God feels a million miles away. I feel a million miles away from God. There are days when I feel small and inconsequential. There are days when the shame that was lifted off of my shoulders a long time ago comes back to haunt me. There are days when I remember that I don’t have it all together. And in those days, God decides to show off. He sees the ruins of my soul and says He’s going to make them their home. He sees the cracks in my heart and says He’s going to shine through them. He sees my sin, my shortcomings, my faults – and He says, “My grace is enough. It’s okay to be broken. My power works best in weakness.”

It’s okay.
It’s okay to be broken, because He will make you whole. He’s going to take the broken pieces of your heart and make the most beautiful mosaic. He’s going to take the broken threads of your soul and He’s going to weave glory.
You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to have it all to be used by God.
It’s okay.

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So long, fear: a letter

Hey fear. I think we should call it quits. I’m done with listening to you. I’m done with your little voice telling me that I cannot chase my dreams, that I cannot be myself. I’m done with you telling me that my soul can’t soar, that it can’t fly, that it can’t be who it wants to be. Fear, you’re getting in the way of me and my dreams. You say you’re trying to keep me from getting hurt. You think playing it safe is the better choice. You say you’re protecting me from getting my heart broken. You say you’re protecting me from facing rejection. But fear, you’re drowning me; you’re suffocating me. You’re not letting me live. And I cannot longer live my life pretending that I’m okay, that I’m doing what I love, that I’m completely happy with who I am, that I am doing what I was made to do, when you and I well know that this isn’t who I was meant to be. I’m not settling with this so-called life. You’re not stealing my joy. I’m not holding back. I was made for more, fear. And you’re not stopping me.
So long, fear.

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The Thief of Joy

“Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original”.

(‭Galatians‬ ‭5‬:‭25-26‬ MSG)

Right before reading this, I was browsing through social media and looking at the profiles of those people that inspire and encourage me with their beautiful words and souls. As I looked at their photos and read their wonderful words, a familiar little voice was making its way to my ears. It was telling me that my words were not enough. That these people were truly gifted, unlike me. That their words were changing lives, unlike mine. That, once again, I should stop sharing my words. Tonight, the little voice of fear was winning our daily battle.

And then I read this.

“We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original.”

I am an original. The Spirit is working in my life, in my heart, differently. Other writers and other bloggers are not better than I am. I am an original. I have better things to do than comparing myself to others. My life is so much more. God is working in my life. He makes my words and my art beautiful in their own way.

Stop comparing yourself to others. You have your own voice, your own light, your own heart. God is working in your life differently. God is creating beauty in your soul- your very own kind of beauty. Don’t let comparison steal your joy.

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A Beautiful Soul

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“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” [1 Peter 3:3-4]